BY DAVID HACKWORTH
9 May 2000
HUT, ONE, TWO, THREE, GROPE
Anyone that's recently served in our armed forces knows that in-ranks groping is as common in today's military as gun powder was in Ike's Army.
Let's face it, recruits to colonels have groped, grope or are thinking about groping.
Now we're told that groping -- which the equal-opportunity gang's made infinitely easier since our services became sexually blended in the permissive 70's -- has invaded the general officer ranks. An Alpha male general has allegedly groped an Alpha female general who's gone and blown the dread groping whistle three years after the grope.
In the past 25 years, more money, more time and more energy has been devoted to anti-grope training than Ike used getting ready for D-day. Yet despite the scores of thou-shalt-not grope regs, endless anti-grope lectures and threats galore that anything other than Don't-Ask-Don't-Tell groping will be punished by firing squads, there's still a lot of groping going down.
The-one-grope-and-you're-dead campaign has clearly failed. The Pentagon has more campaign streamers on their battle flags from sexual steamers and I've-been-sexually-harassed screamers than from combat campaigns. Headlines in recent years say it all: ABERDEEN DRILL SERGEANTS RAPE RECRUITS; LOVEBOAT PREGNANCY REACHES NEW HIGH; FEMALE B-52 PILOT DOES MORE THAN BOMB THE TROOPS.
Sometimes -- until reality sets in -- I feel sorry for the top brass who've been hit by all the groping flak. But -- the Marine Corps excepted -- the Army, Navy and Air Force top guys deserve every hit. They were the junior officers when the ludicrous idea of gender-bending kicked in. They went along with it when they became the mid-level colonels and Navy captains even though they knew it didn't work. And as junior generals and admirals, they're the ones who hid the real skinny from Congress and the press, stuff like over-the-top pregnancy rates, high female medical attrition and the new lows the experiment's inflicted on the combat readiness of our air, land and sea units.
Most of the brass were concerned with only one thing: getting promoted. Now they're the big boys, wearing three and four stars. So let them pay the price for blatant dereliction of duty; for keeping their mouths shut and not telling the high-ranking Pentagon civilian pushers of gender-blending that our Armed Forces aren't the Post Office; for playing the promotion game and allowing the crippling of combat units -- where the job is kill or be killed, not delivering mail.
During the past couple of decades, I know only of one senior guy who told the pushers their program to make girls into boys was nuts. Army Lt. Gen. Hal Moore, one of our top warrior-leaders at the time, did stand tall and tell the top brass that gender-blending would destroy the U.S. Army. For his honesty, he was rewarded with instant retirement.
The brass learned from his termination: while on active duty be as silent as a stone. But question a newly-retired male general or admiral and before you can turn on your tape recorder, he'll be shouting: "Stop the experiment, it's killing the force."
Anyone with their frontal lobes still intact knows that unless chastity belts are issued along with rifles, groping won't be ordered away. And that you can't mix teenage boys and girls in basic training or mature men and women in operational units without groping and its attendant follow-ons.
No orders, no briefings, no brainwashing campaign can change nature. Farmers who think they can order apples to stop falling from trees aren't playing with a full deck. Nor can any institution from the Catholic Church to the Pentagon order its cadre to behave like eunuchs and expect that order to be executed 100 percent of the time.
Now the same Pentagon idiots are pushing for women in submarines. Congress must torpedo this assault on one of America's final bastions of combat readiness and our country's most important defense system. Women in subs will destroy the cohesion, spirit and combat effectiveness of the submarine service faster than a flotilla of enemy depth-charge-throwing destroyers.
If ever-vigilant NCOs and officers can't stop groping in the above ground barracks and on training fields and battlefields, how in the name of Admiral Hyman Rickover can groping be prevented in the close quarters of submerged subs.